Why some people struggle to make good partners in a relationship
Why is it that even after you understand how to be a good partner, it’s so hard for so many individuals to actually follow through? These guidelines may not seem difficult, but for some people they are. And here is why.
Selfishness
Most people have some level of selfishness. Indeed, it’s an instinct for survival. Consider how your survival as a caveman would rely on how much food you consumed. Also, if you consume more food than the individual sitting next to you, you will have a higher chance of surviving. Even while selfishness had its uses in the past, it doesn’t benefit us in relationships now. When one or both parties exhibit selfishness, resentment develops and only intensifies over time.
Inadequate knowledge
We don’t learn anything about relationships or communication skills in school. Do you remember taking any classes called “Relationships 101” or “Communication 101”? Most likely not.
If no one ever taught you how to be a decent partner and maintain a healthy relationship, how can you ever hope to learn? Trial and error is typically how we learn. But you need to be conscious of yourself in order to achieve this. What you don’t recognize cannot be changed. You must therefore be conscious of your bad habits and what you may do to modify them. You must then truly make those changes in order to improve yourself.
Bad examples
All of us truly had to go on were our own parents because the majority of us have never been taught how to have wholesome relationships. They act as a learning example of how you might behave in your own relationships. For instance, if your parents would argue and yell, scream, and call each other names, you would have grown up believing this was normal. You most likely adopted the same interpersonal habits that they did as a result. Likewise, if they shied away from showing affection and intimacy, you assumed it was also typical.
As you can see, we tend to adopt the behaviors that are modeled for us as children, whether they are favorable or unpleasant. Then they become into habits, which are challenging to break.
Absence of empathy
Both partners must show empathy for one another for a relationship to be healthy. Empathy is the capacity to put oneself in another’s shoes and view a situation from their point of view rather than simply your own. Many people are innately selfish, therefore they are unable to see how their partner may view a situation in a different way. When this occurs, animosity gradually grows. Fortunately, empathy is a skill that can be acquired. You can practice this skill to become a better partner in your relationship. All it takes is awareness of your feelings, thoughts, and—more crucially—words and actions.
Why some individuals struggle to make good partners in a relationship
Characteristics of a good partner
Perhaps your parents weren’t the best examples of a happy marriage. If that’s the case, you could be at a loss for how to get started or what a decent partner even looks like. These are some characteristics of a good companion.