12 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually You Need to Know

Narcissists often exhibit peculiar behaviors in various aspects of life, and their sexual conduct is no exception. Understanding the weird things narcissists do sexually can provide valuable insights into their complex psychology and relationship patterns. From using intimacy as a tool for control to displaying a lack of emotional connection, narcissists’ sexual behaviors can be both intriguing and unsettling.

This article delves into ten unusual sexual habits of narcissists that everyone should be aware of. It explores how narcissists might use sex as a weapon, objectify their partners, and engage in extreme or risky acts. The piece also examines the sudden shifts in sexual interest that narcissists often display and what these behaviors mean for their partners. By shedding light on these aspects, readers can gain a deeper understanding of narcissistic tendencies in intimate relationships.

Using Sex as a Control Tool

Narcissists often employ sex as a powerful weapon in their arsenal of manipulation. This behavior stems from their deep-seated need for control and power in relationships. By weaponizing intimacy, they create an environment where their partners feel insecure, dependent, and constantly seeking approval.

Withholding Intimacy

One of the most effective tactics narcissists use is withholding intimacy. This method has a profound impact on their partners, especially in long-term relationships. As the relationship progresses, the narcissist gradually reduces affection and care in other areas, making sex the primary source of connection for their partner. This creates a situation where the partner craves intimacy as a means to feel connected, turning it into an emotional drug.

When narcissists believe their partner is trapped (e.g., through marriage or children), they may start withholding sex entirely. This sudden removal of intimacy can be psychologically devastating for the partner, who has come to rely on it as their sole source of affection. The narcissist may accompany this withdrawal with hurtful comments about the partner’s appearance or desirability, further eroding their self-esteem.

Demanding Constant Praise

Narcissists often use praise and flattery as tools to foster dependency and reliance in their partners. They may engage in “love-bombing” early in the relationship, showering their partner with excessive compliments and attention. This creates an illusion of a special, unique bond that the partner comes to crave.

However, this praise is not genuine. Narcissists view it as an entitlement and use it in place of real love and affection. They may make grandiose statements during intimate moments, such as “I’ve never felt this way before” or “You’re amazing,” but these are empty words repeated to multiple partners. The goal is to make the partner feel special while maintaining control over the relationship.

Manipulating Through Guilt

Narcissists excel at using guilt as a manipulation tactic in their sexual relationships. They may coerce their partners into performing acts they’re uncomfortable with by implying that refusal means they don’t love or care enough. If a partner tries to establish boundaries, the narcissist may respond with rage or emotional outbursts, making the partner fear the consequences of saying no.

This manipulation extends beyond the bedroom. Narcissists may use silent treatment or withhold affection to punish their partners for perceived slights. They might imply that the partner is selfish or uncaring for not meeting their sexual demands, regardless of the partner’s own needs or desires.

By using these tactics, narcissists create a dynamic where sex becomes a tool for control rather than a means of mutual pleasure and connection. This leaves their partners feeling emotionally drained, insecure, and constantly striving to please the narcissist at the expense of their own well-being.

Objectification and Lack of Emotional Connection

Narcissists often view their partners as objects rather than individuals with their own needs, feelings, and desires. This objectification has a profound impact on their sexual relationships, creating a disconnect that can be deeply unsettling for their partners.

Treating Partners as Objects

Narcissists tend to see their partners as possessions or tools to be used for their own gratification. They focus primarily on physical attributes and outer beauty, often ignoring their partner’s talents, intellect, or emotional needs. This objectification can manifest in several ways:

1. Putting partners on display
2. Dictating how partners should dress or present themselves
3. Treating partners as objects of pleasure rather than equal participants
4. Ignoring or belittling partners’ goals and dreams

This behavior stems from the narcissist’s inability to form genuine emotional connections. They make a conscious choice to objectify their victims, allowing them to abuse without feeling guilty. As a result, partners often feel ignored, unappreciated, and disconnected from themselves and others.

Avoiding Eye Contact

One peculiar behavior that narcissists often exhibit during intimate moments is avoiding eye contact. This avoidance serves several purposes:

1. Maintaining control and power
2. Distancing themselves emotionally
3. Avoiding empathy and connection
4. Minimizing feelings of guilt or remorse

By refusing to make eye contact, narcissists create a barrier that prevents genuine intimacy. This behavior can leave their partners feeling unseen and unimportant, further reinforcing the objectification they experience.

Lack of Aftercare

Narcissists typically show a significant lack of emotional closeness and aftercare following sexual encounters. This absence of intimacy is rooted in their inability to form deep, genuine connections. Some key aspects of this behavior include:

1. Treating sex as a means to gain personal benefit rather than deepen emotional bonds
2. Inability to empathize with their partner’s emotional needs
3. Lack of object constancy, meaning they struggle to maintain positive feelings about their partner when not physically present

This lack of emotional connection extends beyond the bedroom. Narcissists often struggle to show empathy in other aspects of the relationship, such as during emotional movies or when their partner is expressing pain or distress.

The objectification and lack of emotional connection in narcissistic relationships can have severe consequences for their partners. It often leads to feelings of worthlessness, loss of individuality, and a disconnection from oneself and the world. Partners may find themselves constantly worrying about the narcissist’s needs and perceptions, losing touch with their own desires and sense of self in the process.

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Extreme Behaviors and Risky Acts

Narcissists often engage in extreme sexual behaviors and risky acts, pushing boundaries and disregarding safety. These actions stem from their need for control, validation, and excitement. Understanding these behaviors can help individuals recognize and protect themselves from potentially harmful situations.

Pushing Boundaries

Narcissists frequently push their partners’ sexual boundaries, often without regard for consent or comfort. They may:

1. Pressure partners into unwanted sexual activities
2. Ignore verbal and non-verbal cues indicating discomfort
3. Use emotional manipulation or coercion to get their way

For example, a narcissist might repeatedly grab their partner inappropriately in public, despite protests. They may justify this behavior as playful or claim ownership over their partner’s body. This boundary-pushing can escalate over time, potentially leading to more severe forms of sexual abuse.

Engaging in Taboo Activities

To satisfy their need for novelty and excitement, narcissists may seek out taboo or risky sexual activities. These can include:

1. Exhibitionism or public sexual acts
2. Engaging in multiple concurrent sexual relationships
3. Participating in high-risk sexual behaviors without protection

Narcissists might pressure partners into these activities, disregarding their comfort levels or safety concerns. They may also use these experiences as leverage for future manipulation or blackmail.

Disregard for Safety

Narcissists often show a blatant disregard for sexual safety, putting themselves and their partners at risk. This behavior manifests in several ways:

1. Refusing to use protection during sexual encounters
2. Engaging in sexual activities with multiple partners without disclosure
3. Neglecting to get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs)

This reckless behavior increases the risk of STI transmission and unintended pregnancies. Narcissists may rationalize their actions, believing they are entitled to pursue sexual gratification without consequences.

It’s crucial to recognize that these extreme behaviors and risky acts are not indicative of a healthy sexual relationship. They often serve as tools for the narcissist to exert control, seek validation, or fulfill their own desires at the expense of their partner’s well-being. Individuals who find themselves in relationships with narcissists exhibiting these behaviors should prioritize their safety and consider seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or professional counselors.

Sudden Shifts in Sexual Interest

Narcissists often exhibit sudden and dramatic shifts in their sexual interest, leaving their partners confused and emotionally drained. These changes can be jarring and have a significant impact on the relationship dynamics. Understanding these patterns can help individuals recognize and navigate the complexities of being involved with a narcissist.

Love Bombing to Disinterest

One of the most noticeable patterns in narcissistic relationships is the rapid transition from intense affection to complete disinterest. This shift typically follows a predictable pattern:

1. Initial intense attraction and constant communication
2. Declarations of deep connection and soulmate status
3. Sudden withdrawal of affection and attention

In the early stages, narcissists often engage in “love bombing,” showering their partners with attention, affection, and declarations of love. They may send constant texts, express their feelings intensely, and claim a deep, soulmate-like connection within days or weeks of meeting. This behavior creates a false sense of intimacy and can be overwhelming for the partner.However, this intense affection is usually short-lived.

Once the narcissist feels they have secured their partner’s attachment, they may abruptly lose interest. The constant communication and expressions of love suddenly cease, leaving their partner confused and desperately seeking to regain the initial connection.

Using Sex as Punishment

Narcissists often weaponize sex, using it as a tool for control and punishment. This manipulation can manifest in several ways:

1. Withholding affection and sexual contact
2. Using sex as a reward for desired behavior
3. Employing sexual rejection as a form of emotional abuse

By withholding sex and affection, narcissists create a Pavlovian response in their partners. They condition their partners to associate pleasing the narcissist with receiving affection and intimacy. This manipulation tactic keeps the partner constantly striving to earn the narcissist’s approval and attention.

Moreover, narcissists may use sexual rejection as a form of punishment for perceived slights or disobedience. This behavior can severely impact their partner’s self-esteem and create a cycle of emotional dependence.

Inconsistent Libido

Narcissists often display highly inconsistent sexual desire, which can be confusing and frustrating for their partners. This inconsistency may manifest as:

1. Periods of intense sexual interest followed by complete disinterest
2. Sudden changes in sexual preferences or desires
3. Using sex as a means of control rather than intimacy

The narcissist’s libido may seem to fluctuate wildly, with no apparent reason or pattern. They might be extremely sexually demanding one day and completely uninterested the next. This inconsistency often has little to do with their partner’s actions or appearance and more to do with the narcissist’s own emotional state and need for control.

Furthermore, narcissists may use their inconsistent libido as another tool for manipulation. They might initiate sex when they want something from their partner or withhold it when they feel slighted or want to assert dominance in the relationship.

It’s important to note that these sudden shifts in sexual interest are not about the partner’s desirability or worth. Instead, they reflect the narcissist’s inability to form genuine emotional connections and their need for control in relationships. Recognizing these patterns can be a crucial step in understanding and potentially addressing the challenges of being in a relationship with a narcissist.

Conclusion

The unusual sexual behaviors exhibited by narcissists shed light on the complex dynamics of their relationships. These patterns, ranging from using intimacy as a control tool to displaying sudden shifts in sexual interest, have a profound impact on their partners’ emotional well-being. Understanding these behaviors is crucial to recognize and address potentially harmful situations in relationships with narcissistic individuals.

Ultimately, awareness of these patterns can empower individuals to make informed decisions about their relationships and prioritize their mental health. At Inquire Talk, we understand the importance of mental health in fostering healthy relationships. Our team of compassionate therapists offers online counseling, therapy, and psychotherapy services to support individuals in their journey towards healthier and happier relationships. By recognizing these behaviors and seeking help when needed, people can work towards building more fulfilling and balanced connections with others.

FAQs – Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually

What kinds of fantasies are common among narcissists?
Covert narcissists often engage in grandiose, unrealistic, and self-centered fantasies. They might imagine themselves achieving great feats, being heroes of the world, the focal point of everyone’s attention, and universally admired.

What characteristics define a hypersexual narcissist?
Hypersexual narcissists are known for their exaggerated belief in their sexual prowess and performance. They primarily focus on their own desires and often neglect the emotional needs of their partners, showing little concern for what their partners desire in the relationship.

What attracts narcissists in a relationship?
Narcissists are typically attracted to individuals who enhance their self-esteem and affirm their significance. According to Wasser from Insider, being with someone who is successful or admired makes narcissists feel more important themselves.

Do narcissists have a tendency to be sexually obsessed?
Sexual narcissism is one way narcissism can manifest, where there is a self-centered approach to sexual activities. This behavior pattern can eventually make their partners feel diminished in their own sexual identity and self-worth.

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Hal M.

Nick Gendler

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