Unicorn Hunting: Exploring the Complexities of Polyamorous Relationships

Introduction

In recent years, the concept of polyamory has gained significant attention and acceptance as an alternative relationship structure. Within the realm of polyamory, there exists a practice known as unicorn hunting, which involves a couple seeking a third person to join their relationship. In this article, we will delve into the world of unicorn hunting, exploring its history, complexities, and potential challenges. We will also discuss the importance of ethical conduct and communication in polyamorous relationships.

Understanding Unicorn Hunting

What is Unicorn Hunting?

Unicorn hunting refers to the practice of an established couple, typically a heterosexual man and bisexual woman, seeking a bisexual woman to join their relationship. The term “unicorn” is used to describe this third person because, like a mythical creature, such individuals are rare and difficult to find. The couple often seeks a closed triad, where the unicorn is expected to date both partners exclusively and adhere to the rules set by the couple.

The History of Unicorn Hunting

The exact origins of the term unicorn hunting are unclear. However, some speculate that it has been in use since the 1970s within swinger communities. Back then, the term was used to describe a bisexual woman who would engage in threesomes with heterosexual couples while maintaining boundaries and not infringing upon the existing relationship.

Unicorn Hunting vs. Triads/Throuples

It is important to differentiate between unicorn hunting and triads/throuples. While both involve three individuals in a relationship, unicorn hunting tends to prioritize the established couple, often placing the unicorn in a secondary position. In a healthy triad or throuple, all parties have equal standing and agency within the relationship, with each individual’s needs and boundaries respected.

The Reasons Behind Unicorn Hunting

Here are some potential reasons why people might practice unicorn hunting:

Desire for Variety: Some couples may be seeking to add variety and excitement to their relationship by introducing a third person. They might believe that bringing in a new partner can enhance their sexual experiences or emotional connections.

Exploring Polyamory: Couples new to polyamory might start with unicorn hunting as a way to ease into non-monogamous relationships. This approach may seem more manageable for those who are unfamiliar with the complexities of polyamory.

Fulfilling Fantasy: Unicorn hunting can sometimes be driven by a fantasy or desire to fulfill specific sexual or romantic scenarios. This may include the idea of a threesome or other non-traditional relationship dynamics.

Suggestion for read: 7 Most Frequent Sexual Fantasies

Insecurity or Control Issues: In some cases, unicorn hunting may be driven by the couple’s insecurities or control issues. They might seek a third person who is perceived as less threatening or who they believe will not disrupt the existing dynamics of their relationship.

Unrealistic Expectations: Some couples may have unrealistic expectations about the third person’s role and level of involvement in their relationship. This can lead to misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and potential difficulties in communication.

Lack of Understanding: Couples new to polyamory might lack a comprehensive understanding of ethical non-monogamy, consent, and communication. Unicorn hunting can sometimes be a result of this lack of knowledge.

Social Pressure: Societal norms and expectations around relationships can influence couples to conform to more traditional structures. Unicorn hunting may be a way for couples to maintain a sense of familiarity or conformity while exploring non-monogamous dynamics.

The Complexities of Unicorn Hunting

Power Dynamics and Inequality

One of the main challenges of unicorn hunting lies in the power dynamics and potential inequality within the relationship. The established couple often holds more power and control, with the unicorn expected to conform to their rules and desires. This power imbalance can lead to feelings of exclusion, marginalization, and a lack of agency for the unicorn.

Unrealistic Expectations

Unicorn hunting often involves unrealistic expectations placed on the unicorn. The couple may seek a perfect match who equally loves both partners and fits seamlessly into their existing relationship. However, this idealized vision may not align with the reality of forming connections and relationships. Each person brings their own unique needs, desires, and boundaries, which may not perfectly align with those of the couple.

Emotional Impact

Unicorn hunting can have significant emotional consequences for all parties involved. The unicorn may feel pressure to meet the couple’s expectations while navigating their own emotional needs. The established couple may experience jealousy, insecurity, and possessiveness, which can strain the relationship dynamics. Open and honest communication, along with emotional support and self-reflection, are crucial in addressing and managing these emotional challenges.

Ethical Considerations and Communication in Polyamorous Relationships

Ethical Non-Monogamy

Polyamory is rooted in the concept of ethical non-monogamy, which emphasizes honesty, consent, and communication among all individuals involved. It is essential for unicorn hunters to approach their search ethically, respecting the autonomy and agency of potential partners. Consent should be ongoing and enthusiastic, with clear boundaries and expectations established from the beginning.

Communication and Boundaries

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of successful polyamorous relationships. All parties involved should engage in regular conversations to express their needs, desires, and concerns. Establishing and respecting boundaries is crucial, ensuring that everyone’s emotional, physical, and sexual well-being is prioritized.

Seeking Professional Support

Navigating the complexities of polyamory and unicorn hunting can be challenging. Seeking professional support, such as sex therapy, couples counseling, or online therapy, can provide valuable guidance and assistance in maintaining healthy relationships. Online counseling services offer convenient and accessible options for individuals and couples to address any conflicts, manage jealousy, and enhance relationship dynamics.

Conclusion

Unicorn hunting, while prevalent in the polyamorous community, comes with its own set of complexities and challenges. It is crucial for those embarking on this quest to approach it ethically, with open communication and respect for all parties involved. By prioritizing consent, agency, and emotional well-being, individuals and couples can create fulfilling and sustainable polyamorous relationships. Remember, the journey of unicorn hunting should be rooted in mutual respect, understanding, and the pursuit of happiness for all involved.

Additional Information:

At Inquire Talk, we understand the significance of mental health and well-being in relationships. Seeking professional help through online therapy and psychotherapy can provide valuable support in managing stress and promoting emotional well-being. Our dedicated therapists are available to assist individuals and couples in navigating the complexities of working together in the same company. Whether you need guidance on maintaining work-life balance or managing conflicts, our online counseling services can provide the assistance you need. Prioritize your mental health and well-being in your professional and personal life.

Here are few certified therapists who you can get in touch and book a therapy session with:

John Hilsdon

Pete Tobias

Nick Gendler