How to talk to your partner about their drinking problem

If your partner’s drinking habits worry you, you might feel the urge to talk to them about it but be at a loss for words. It can be challenging to choose how to bring up the matter with them without upsetting or offending them.

You’re not the only one in this situation. About 25% of respondents over the age of 18 who participated in a 2019 poll reported binge drinking within the previous month.

The indicators that your partner may have an alcohol use disorder are listed in this article, along with some discussion techniques.

Signs Your Partner has a Drinking Problem

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) lists a few indicators that your partner may have an alcohol use disorder as follows:

– Strong urges or cravings to drink; drinking more alcohol or for longer periods of time than they intended

– Spending a lot of time drinking or recovering from the effects of alcohol; choosing to drink over other activities or skipping out on things because they’re recovering from the effects of alcohol

– Attempting to stop drinking but failing, needing more alcohol to produce the same effects and more. Being in risky situations while or after drinking, such as drinking and driving

– Suffering from alcohol-related depression, anxiety, memory loss, or other health issues

– Experiencing withdrawal symptoms after drinking, such as trembling, difficulty sleeping, headaches, restlessness, anxiety, or nausea

– Finding that their drinking problem interferes with their relationships with their family, friends, or obligations at work, home, or school

– Continuing to drink despite the negative impacts on their relationships with family, friends, or obligations at work.

Drinking Problem Disorder Diagnostic Standards

A healthcare professional can assess whether your partner has alcohol use disorder and the severity of it based on how frequently they have occurred in the previous year:

– 2 to 3: signs of mild alcohol use disorder

– 4 to 5: Alcohol use disorder with moderate severity

– 6 or more: Symptoms of severe alcohol use disorder

How to Discuss Your Partner’s Alcohol Use with Your Partner

Here are some techniques to utilize when bringing up your partner’s drinking problem with them:

• Prepare what you want to say: Before speaking with your spouse about their drinking, it can be good to write down your thoughts and practice speaking aloud to a friend or to yourself.

• Select the ideal moment: Pick a time when you’re quiet and at ease. It’s crucial that neither of you be under the effect of alcohol or any other drugs when you speak. To avoid distractions, turn off or put away electronic gadgets like the television and cell phones.
• Express your worries: Begin by outlining your observations to your partner. These findings must to be current and precise. Describe the reasons behind your worry. Pay attention to your partner’s viewpoint.
• Expect opposition: If your partner has been contemplating the same things, they might be receptive to your ideas and eager to make an effort to alter their behavior. If you don’t, they can become hostile and shut down the dialogue. People frequently underestimate their drinking problems and fail to recognize them as dangerous, according to a 2021 study. Tell your spouse that you are concerned about them and that you are there to help them if they need it.
• Prepare a plan with your partner. The strategy should be clear and measurable. Examples such as establishing expectations for your partner’s drinking problem, like how many days per week they’ll have a drink or how many they’ll have each time.
• Plan ahead for alcohol-related activities. After talking with your spouse, try to carry out the plan you both agreed upon. Plan ahead, especially for holidays or other occasions where alcohol may be present.
• Look for alcohol-free options, such as find activities that don’t revolve around drinking, including going to the movies, having a game night for friends, or preparing supper as a group.
• Take alcohol out of the house, this can help your partner refrain from drinking.
• Don’t pass judgment, it’s crucial to keep this dialogue civil and free of hostilities. When discussing their drinking problem, try to avoid using terms like alcoholic as they can be unpleasant and stigmatizing.
• Lastly, and most importantly, encourage your partner to talk about their drinking problem with a healthcare professional.

Here are few certified therapists who you can get in touch and book a therapy session with:

• Simon Jacobs
• Georgina Lynch
• Counselling London Psychotherapy