Holiday Anxiety: Why Do I Get Stressed Out Over the Holidays?

You may have heard the phrase “it’s the most delightful time of the year” at this point in advertisements, social media posts, or when navigating the aisles at the grocery store. (Try to read that without seeing Andy Williams singing it. We’ve been taught all our lives that this is the time of year when joy and happiness rule the day. Those that have unpleasant feelings will yell “bah humbug” at you as you pass them on the street.

You are not alone if you’ve been pressured to spread happiness when, in actuality, the preceding year, month, or even week has had you celebrating just getting out of bed in the morning. You’re probably feeling anxious about the holidays.

What is Holiday anxiety?

Anxiety around the holidays is a little different than anxiety you might experience on any other day. As the celebrations begin and draw near, it comes with feelings of worry and panic. Other signs could be restlessness, a tense mood, or a sense of impending doom. Moreover, you can feel tense, have an upset stomach, have panic attacks, have heart palpitations, and think irrationally.

The strain of the holidays may be the cause of everything. Stress can be brought on by selecting the correct gifts, attending holiday festivities, and visiting family. For some people, holiday anxiety may be brought on entirely by the absence of these experiences.

Holiday anxiety may feel different from other types of anxiety. Even though we can feel it coming on every year, there is also a buildup. Several people believe that their expectations were not met by the event. Unconscious or unresolved conflicts or trauma from our earlier experiences could also be a factor at work.

Recognizing holiday anxiety

Your body may feel like it is going into fight, flight, or freeze mode when you experience anxiety. This has been a typical coping method for humans from the beginning of time. This is your brain’s way of alerting you to impending danger and a reason to be afraid. Our bodies secrete hormones in this condition. These hormones start a domino effect. An imbalance develops in the body as a whole as a result of the immune system deteriorating and the digestive system shutting down. This could also contribute to the season’s increased susceptibility to colds.

Managing holiday anxiety

We can react to what is happening to our body after we comprehend what is occurring and why. Moving toward useful strategies for self-preparation and self-regulation is a healthy approach. The top three things you can do this year to control your stress and anxiety during the holidays are listed below.

Breathe deeply to prepare for the unpredictable nature of the holiday season

Saying “take a deep breath” in the middle of an anxiety attack or a stressful scenario could sound trivial or banal. But, it is equally critical to begin by ensuring that the body is receiving oxygen, a necessary component for life, just as it is to become psychoeducated about what is occurring physically to our bodies. Try to literally stop everything when you are under stress and take a few deep breaths. This might radically alter the situation.

The words “this doesn’t help” or “I don’t feel better” have been used by several of my clients. I want to affirm your experience if it is similar to mine and pique your curiosity. Further investigation may reveal that you are mistaking a controlled nervous system for overall feeling better.

Prior to engaging in any form of problem-solving mode, the breath is meant to help you concentrate on self-regulation. Have you ever heard a captain in an airplane emphasize the necessity of donning your mask before helping others? That is similar to the feeling of exhaling deeply. You can still be concerned about turbulence on the aircraft. But with the mask on, you are better able to assist both yourself and others.

Taking a moment to breathe goes hand in hand with keeping an open mind. We could not be totally ready for what happens over the vacation, similar to having an unanticipated anxiety attack. In order to manage our tension and anxiety, we must give ourselves permission to accept what is possible as long as it does not violate our boundaries.

Limit your expectations

There will be some things that are extremely predictable. There’s always that one relative who manages to make fun of you at the dinner table. Then there are the cancellations that come up last minute that make you feel more alone than you would like. Some things could be unpredictable, like running out of time to make the supper you’ve been planning or having unanticipated visitors show up. It’s crucial to remain calm no matter what the situation.

Try telling yourself, “Oh, there it is, that thing I was not expecting and I am not going to let it affect how I feel in this moment,” rather than leaning into any kind of aggravation or rage. Of course, it’s easier said than done. Yet, repeating this to ourselves out loud as much as necessary might be beneficial.

Think ahead

Time spent in self-reflection and this go hand in hand. The best person to ask is you. What are the things that you are aware could increase your anxiety or stress? What steps can we take to stop this?

For instance, you might be aware that making the food the night before would assist reduce the stress of getting the kids together the morning of the event. In this situation, obtaining everything you need in advance and blocking off some time the night before should be your top priorities.

Prioritize self care if you believe that nothing can halt the looming tension that will unavoidably affect you. This is particularly crucial before to a gathering, shopping excursion, or family discussion. Making a strategy won’t always “improve” the problem, but we’re trying to find ways to lessen the stress and anxiety with these little initiatives.

Anxiety around the holidays may feel severe and overwhelming. It’s crucial to remember that knowing the source of our worry helps empower us to deal with it in a more effective way. Planning ahead, managing expectations, and maintaining an open mind will all help to create a better holiday season.

Here are few accredited therapists who you can get in touch and book a therapy session with:

Zori Litova

Victoria Sharman

Stuart Alderton