What to do if your partner is boring?

Fortunately, you won’t have to put up with a dull boyfriend indefinitely. There are several things you may do to get past the yawn fest and even appreciate the laid-back nature of your partner.

Keep in mind what first intrigued you to him

Whether it was his calm demeanor or the fact that he was a genuinely dynamic person, you seemed to be drawn to him. You may decide if the fact that he’s a little boring actually makes that much of a difference in the big picture by understanding where your initial feelings came from.

Determine whether he is struggling with any personal issues

Maybe he’s not your typical dull guy after all. He might simply be going through a difficult moment that is causing him to appear more reclusive than normal.

Find out if he’s experiencing any difficulties that might fatigue him and prevent him from taking part in the enjoyment that you want him to be enjoying. And you might become even closer if you can support him and get him through his difficult time.

Speak with him

Simply conversing with a dull guy is the best course of action. Why doesn’t he want to go out and do things with you? Inquire of him. Ask him what’s been making him feel so down recently. However, avoid using the word “boring,” as he might find that offensive. Just be direct and truthful with him. In situations like this, communication is essential.

Keep your friendships and your relationship with him separate

Your desire for your dull partner to spend time with you and your pals may perhaps be the root of the problem. Therefore, when he declines, you assume it’s because he’s uninteresting rather than that he simply doesn’t want to spend too much time with your friends. Simply separating the two lives is one strategy to combat this. Then spend time with him after spending time with your pals. Don’t pressurize him to spend a lot of time with you and your friends right away.

Take up a shared hobby

You might have a dull partner since the two of you don’t do anything together, which is the problem. Join a new team for recreational sports, enroll in a new class, or all three! You might find that engaging in a fun activity as a couple breaks up your monotonous routine.

Utilize your time together as down time

Don’t always think that having a lover will keep you entertained. Instead, use your time with him as a chance to unwind and relax. Eliminating all those expectations that he’s obviously not meeting will allow you to see him as a laid-back person to unwind with. Additionally, you’ll be able to view him in a completely new way, which can be far more favorable.

Arrange a regular date night

Make it a priority to plan a date night once a week if the reason you’re in a boring rut with your boyfriend is that you haven’t done anything together. Since you’re actually going out and having fun with him, it might help to dispel any negative thoughts you have about him being boring.

Take a break

You two may simply be spending too much time together, which is another possible explanation for why you think he’s a dull partner. Perhaps you’re getting bored since you’re out of stuff to do and talk about.

Keep him out of your every free moment. Go home, unwind alone, and relish your own life. When you do see him, you’ll realize that you miss him even more and that you’ll therefore enjoy and value his presence more.

Discover his passions and join him in them

He needs to be extremely passionate about something. You can share in his enthusiasm with him if you learn about it and get interested yourself. This will greatly help to reduce any boring symptoms. When he gets genuinely thrilled about something he enjoys, you’ll be front and center. 10. Engage in fun activities with friends

Don’t make your guy feel like he has to be the exciting one. If your guy is exceptionally uninteresting but you still want some adventure, turn to your pals. Your boyfriend can be the one you come home to and talk about all your incredible adventures, and they can be the ones to travel with and do crazy things with.

What to do if your partner is boring?

Develop relationships with his friends

With his pals, your lover most likely has a great time and is never monotonous. To be invited to join them on fun activities, try getting to know his buddies better and possibly even becoming their friend. When your guy has the chance to enjoy himself with friends without feeling under pressure to always be the “fun” one, you’ll realize just how entertaining he really is.

Try something from your wish list

Everyone ought to compile a list of things they desire to do before passing away. If you don’t already have one, make one with your friends. He will start to consider more original ways to live an exciting life as a result of this. Once you’ve made a bucket list, you should both make an effort to cross off as many items as you can! It might be anything from zip-lining or skydiving to exploring new areas of your town. Making a bucket list will help you both have fun and prevent your boyfriend from spending all of your time doing nothing interesting.

Purchase a question book

Many novels contain bizarre, thought-provoking questions that you can find. Examples include, “Would you run naked for 3 blocks in London in broad daylight for £1,000,000,” or “Do you believe aliens exist – why or why not?” These kinds of questions can even be found on websites, or you can create your own. So, instead of spending the entire evening on the couch binge-watching Netflix, turn off the TV, pour a glass of wine, and start posing these silly questions to one another! 14. Determine whether this connection is right for you.

Break up or take a break

There are people who are not intended for you, and this person could not be “the one.” Others can’t provide the kind of excitement that certain individuals require in their life. If this is the situation in your relationship and you’re really unhappy, you might want to think about ending it and moving on to meet your needs with someone else. Leave the house If he’s been lounging on the couch for the past few weeks, send him away. He can simply be lacking energy from sitting still and needs to be reminded of what nature looks like.

Why are you staying around if he isn’t willing to change? Once he realizes you’re gone, he might decide to change. Or not. However, that is not the issue. Nothing you try to reignite the enthusiasm for him seems to be having any effect. So why do you continue? [Read: Unexpected clues that your partner is a weak man]

What causes a pair to get along?

No two people are a perfect match. In actuality, most marriages are not made for one another. That can occasionally cause issues, but they can also sometimes resolve them. However, if you believe your boyfriend to be uninteresting, you should consider your shared interests and personality traits to determine whether you truly belong together. [Read: 40 indicators you have relationship compatibility and how to increase it]

1. Extroverts versus introverts

If you are an extrovert and enjoy socializing frequently but your boyfriend doesn’t, you might assume that he is uninteresting. That does not imply that he is monotonous, but from your perspective, he is. In fact, introverts much prefer to be by themselves. They can prefer to stay at home and avoid social situations as much as extroverts do. In contrast to your desire to go out and party, he views staying in and reading a book or watching a movie as a pleasurable activity.

If you and your boyfriend have such a fundamental difference, it makes sense that you would find him dull. Given that introverts can be quite engaging people, he may not believe he is uninteresting. You are not a good fit, though, if you do not find him engaging.

Suggestion for read: Parental Burnout

2. Unpredictability versus spontaneity

You can be an extremely impulsive person. You are willing to take on any task at any moment with minimal advance preparation. You enjoy novelty and excitement. If someone offered you the chance to do something crazy, you would immediately drop everything. It’s a lot of fun to be spontaneous! But some people could feel uneasy about it. These folks favor having a timetable in place and making plans ahead of time. They simply behave differently than you, which does not necessarily imply that they are uninteresting. But for someone as impulsive as you, this kind of conduct might feel extremely constricting.

3. Interests and hobbies

Some people don’t have a lot of interests in hobbies or other activities. Others enjoy a wide variety of activities. Running, tennis, sports, happy hour, the arts, attending festivals, or any other activity under the sun might be included. You are definitely incompatible with your lover if you don’t have similar interests or pastimes, therefore it’s not strange that you would find him uninteresting. You two need to enjoy the same things in order to have a strong connection.

To sum up

You should seriously reconsider the relationship if, after reading this article, you still feel that there is nothing you can do to make your boring boyfriend more interesting. People may hold onto a romance for too long out of a dread of being alone. Or it’s possible that they simply don’t feel like starting over with dating. But you should seriously consider whether you could live your entire life with this individual.

If the response to this query is “no,” you should probably look for someone else who excite you. Even though it might not be simple, the effort would be worthwhile in the end. Not everyone enjoys having a dull lover, but in the end, you have to determine if this guy is indeed your Prince Charming, laid-back nature and all, or if you should keep seeking.

Inquire Talk certified therapists who you can get in touch and book a therapy session with:

Joanne Welsh

Elaine Tarsh

Nicola Keenan