Husband or wife abandonment syndrome

Posted: March 21, 2023
Category: Couples counselling, Marriage

Husband or wife abandonment syndrome

Husband or wife abandonment syndrome is a term used to describe the emotional and psychological trauma that individuals experience when their partner unexpectedly leaves them without any explanation or warning. This phenomenon is not limited to a specific gender or age group, and can happen to anyone in a committed relationship. The sudden departure of a partner can cause a profound sense of loss, abandonment, and betrayal, and can have long-lasting effects on an individual’s mental health and wellbeing. The experience of being abandoned by a spouse can trigger a range of emotions, from anger and confusion to depression and anxiety, and can lead to feelings of low self-worth and self-esteem. In this article, we will explore the concept of husband or wife abandonment syndrome, its causes, symptoms, and potential treatments, as well as offer some practical advice for coping with the aftermath of a relationship breakdown.

Spousal Abandonment Syndrome occurs when one of the partners departs the marriage abruptly and—typically—without displaying any indication that they are unhappy. In the US, it is a developing trend. The traditional divorce, which often occurs after years of attempting to work out problems in a marriage, is the reverse of spousal abandonment syndrome. There is no indication that one of the couples is unhappy or considering divorcing when there is spousal abandonment. They simply depart, leaving a note on the kitchen table or an email stating their departure and the dissolution of the partnership.

Contrary to popular belief, solid, long-term marriages can experience spousal abandonment syndrome. Many of these couples are perceived favorably by their social circle as morally upright individuals who are content with one another. Everyone is surprised by the abrupt breakdown of the marriage, with the exception of the departing spouse who has been preparing for it for several months, if not years. Naturally, the individual who is abruptly abandoned is forced to examine what she previously believed to be true about her husband.

Couples who divorce typically have a few things in common: they are typically male; they work in societally respected fields like business, the church, medicine, or the law; and they are successful in what they do. They have been acting that everything is OK when they have been harboring marital unhappiness for years. They depart for the girlfriend while having an affair.

They interrupt a routine chat to announce their sudden departure. An illustration might be a phone call where the couple is talking about something unimportant and the husband says abruptly, “I just can’t do this anymore.” Once the husband has informed his wife that he is ending the marriage, it happens quickly. He will relocate to live with his girlfriend and maintain scant touch with the wife and kids. He will place the blame for his acts on his wife rather than own up to them, rewriting the history of their marriage to paint a very sad picture.

Suggestion for read: When Is Divorce the Best Solution? 15 Questions

He gladly accepts his new identity. If the girlfriend is younger, he will begin acting younger, taking after her musical interests, hanging out with her friends, and dressing more youthfully to fit in with his new way of life.

The abandoned wives also have some characteristics in common:

Perhaps they were the “other woman” the husband left his first wife for. And he abruptly abandoned his former wife as well.

They believed their pair to be secure and were unaware that there was difficulties in the marriage.

Their priorities were their husband, their house, and their family.

They fully trusted their husbands because they saw them as honorable members of the community.

Following the abandonment,

Once the news of her husband’s abrupt departure sinks in, the abandoned spouse will go through typical stages.

  • She will initially experience confusion and disbelief. Nothing had prepared her for this unforeseen incident that would change her life. This unsettling feeling could seem overwhelming.
abandonment
  • She might start to have second thoughts about all she had assumed to be true about the marriage. In fact, partners who are getting ready to leave their partners appear attentive and invested in the union. They are not always cruel or abusive. The woman might doubt her capacity to trust people ever again and incessantly play back moments from their marriage in her thoughts to check for indications of dissatisfaction.
  • In hindsight, strange actions will begin to make sense. How many last-minute business trips are there? He had arranged to see his lover. The bank statement’s cash withdrawals, right? He didn’t want to pay for hotel rooms or meals at restaurants with her with a credit card. The additional time he was spending in front of the mirror, the new gym membership, the change in his wardrobe? The wife now understands that it wasn’t for her advantage.

Surviving abrupt abandonment and emerging unharmed

Allowing yourself to grieve in the days and weeks that follow his desertion is important. You have lost your partner, your relationship, and your identity as a happy married couple, all of which are very important to you.

When you’re prepared, seek treatment from a therapist who has experience helping people who have experienced spouse abandonment syndrome. Your counselor will offer you specialized assistance for the phases you are experiencing and be able to give you knowledgeable advise on how to proceed.

There are many websites that specialize in spouse abandonment where you can read other victims’ stories of recovery and share support on the internet forums in addition to in-person treatment. This is beneficial because it gives you a sense of belonging; you will understand that you are not alone.

Make sure you get a qualified attorney, especially if you suspect your husband of attempting to defraud you of any property that is rightfully yours and the children’s.

If you find yourself obsessing about your situation, take a break with life-encouraging readings, films, songs, workouts, friendships, and nutritious foods. . This does not imply that you should downplay your suffering. You simply don’t want it to be your identity.

Have faith in time. You’ll emerge from this stronger and more self-aware than before. But this change will proceed at its own speed. Be patient and compassionate to yourself.

Being abandoned by someone you love might be one of the most painful experiences you can have in life. But keep your life! You’ll come out of this experience with grace and an increased capacity for love, and things will get better.

InquireTalk also provides online individual counselling in addition to couples therapy. In comparison to in-person therapy, it is more discreet, practical, and affordable. InquireTalk is the ideal place to start if you’re ready to begin marriage therapy.

You can contact and book a therapy with InquireTalk counsellors:

Stuart Alderton

Marcelo Matias

Natasha Fletcher

Inquire Talk


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