How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

At Inquire Talk, we understand that deciding to get a divorce can be a difficult and emotional decision. It is not uncommon for couples to feel overwhelmed and lost when it comes to tell your spouse you want a divorce, which is why we have compiled some tips for navigating this challenging conversation. Every situation is unique, and the tone and approach will depend on your individual circumstances and the dynamics of your relationship. Approach this conversation with sensitivity, respect, and the intention to minimize harm as much as possible.

How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

1. Be Sure About Your Decision

Before you even think about tell your spouse you want a divorce, it is important to take some time to reflect on your decision. Ask yourself why you want a divorce and if you have exhausted all other options, such as couples therapy or working on the relationship. If you have tried everything and still feel like divorce is the only option, then it is time to have a conversation with your spouse.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

When it comes to tell your spouse you want a divorce, timing is everything. You want to make sure you have their undivided attention and that you are in a private and comfortable setting. It is also important to choose a time when you both have time to talk and process your emotions.

3. Be Honest and Direct

When you do have the conversation with your spouse, it is crucial to be honest and direct. Avoid beating around the bush or sugarcoating the situation. Clearly state your reasons for wanting a divorce and be prepared to answer any questions your spouse may have.

4. Stay Calm and Respectful

It is likely that the conversation will be emotional and potentially heated, but it is important to stay calm and respectful throughout. Avoid getting defensive or attacking your spouse, and try to listen to their perspective as well.

5. Consider Online Counselling

If you are unsure how to approach the conversation or need support in navigating the aftermath of a divorce, consider seeking online counselling. A licensed therapist can help you work through your emotions and provide guidance on how to communicate effectively with your spouse.

6. Plan for the Future

Once you have told your spouse you want a divorce, it is important to start planning for the future. This may include finding a new place to live, working out a custody arrangement for any children, and dividing assets and finances.

7. Don’t Let a Controlling Spouse Dictate the Conversation

If you are in a controlling or abusive relationship, telling your spouse you want a divorce can be particularly challenging. It is important to prioritize your safety and consider seeking legal assistance if necessary. Don’t let your spouse dictate the conversation or intimidate you into staying in the relationship.

Suggestion for read: Divorce or long-term relationship

8. Seek Support from Family and Friends

Divorce can be a lonely and isolating experience, so it is important to reach out to friends and family for support. Having a strong support system can help you navigate the emotional ups and downs of the divorce process and provide a sounding board for your thoughts and feelings.

9. Consider Couples Therapy

If you and your spouse are struggling to communicate effectively or work through your issues, consider seeking couples therapy before deciding on divorce. A therapist can help you identify the root cause of your problems and provide tools for resolving conflicts.

10. Take Care of Yourself

Finally, it is important to prioritize self-care during the divorce process. This may include getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Taking care of yourself will not only help you cope with the emotional stress of divorce but also prepare you for your new life ahead. Every situation is different, and the approach you take will depend on your individual circumstances and the dynamics of your relationship. It’s important to approach this conversation with sensitivity and empathy, even if the decision is painful for both of you.

At Inquire Talk, we are here to support you during this difficult time. Our licensed therapists are available for online counselling and can provide guidance and support as you navigate the divorce process. Contact us today to learn more.

Inquire Talk certified therapists who you can get in touch and book a therapy session with:

Vicki Rebecca

Yvonne Douglas

Ellena Fries