Communication Exercises for Couples

Every relationship is built on effective communication. Talking. Listening. Hearing. Successful communication requires that partners learn to express their true feelings and be able to actively and honestly listen to one another. Hearing their words is not enough. It’s more important to comprehend the significance and purpose of them. The better for it are those who comprehend this and consistently try to advance their approach. A much happier marriage results from less haziness and more clarity. And because of this, it’s a good idea to have some couple communication exercises on hand. They facilitate communication while addressing any inefficiencies.

Communication Exercises for Couples

What, however, are the worthwhile communication excercises, particularly for working parents who have a lot to say to one another? We talked to several therapists and solicited their opinions. They spent a short amount of time and engaged in relatively easy workouts with us. But, despite their lack of commitment, they are highly effective in helping you concentrate on critical abilities like active listening, dispute resolution, and expressing thanks. Make a commitment to using these exercises more frequently, or even just to remember their general ideas, and you’ll probably experience fewer missed connections and greater success.

Better Communication Exercises for Couples

1. Non-Interruptive Listening

It’s a common sight: One partner talks, the other person simply waits for their turn to speak or fully buts in. Pretty much everyone is guilty of interrupting but we all need to be better as it takes empathy out of the conversation and turns communication into a game of one-upmanship. This simple exercise seeks to root out that bad habit. And yeah, it might seem obvious, but going into a discussion with this framework in mind helps set the tone.

It works like this: One partner speaks for five-to-seven minutes and the other partner just, well, listens. When the first person is finished, the other then asks questions to help them understand what they just heard. “How did it make you feel to tell me that?” How can I help the next time be better? What makes it so important to you, and why? The other spouse can talk after those queries have been addressed and clarified.

The goal of this exercise is to better understand one another, not to have one of the partners defend what they did or how they did it.

2. Showing Thankfulness

Two syllables in two words. “You” and “thank you.” But, it’s amazing how frequently these words are omitted from conversations between spouses and how many things are ignored or thought little enough to not be worth praising. The simple things that spouses do for one other on a daily basis frequently go unnoticed. Simply consider expressing gratitude and taking the time to thank someone for something, such as making you coffee or filling up your car with petrol yesterday.

This motivates us to pay attention to how and when our partner is already showing up for us, and to verbally express thanks. This activity can also help people who benefit from words of affirmation by filling that need. The more we express our appreciation for one another and feel valued, the more motivated we might feel to offer one other care. This practice can also result in a favorable snowball effect for the relationship.

3. Reflecting

In many conversations, when one person speaks, the other initially pays attention before gradually tuning them out and answering with neutral expressions like “I get it” or just “Uh-huh.” It occurs. And it invariably results in a heated argument. A traditional method of communication called mirroring aids in avoiding this. When you mirror with your spouse, you pay attention to his or her ideas and emotions before repeating what was said back and asking, “Did I get that right?” The talk can then continue until your partner feels like they’ve been sufficiently heard, at which point they can either affirm or deny that you got it right. The listener might then express their support for their spouse by stating something like, “That makes sense,” or “I’m glad you clarified that to me.” Even if you don’t quite agree with what was stated, at least now that you’ve heard them out, you can approach the argument with more understanding.

Couples get the chance to practice speaking their thoughts and feelings out loud, practice active listening, have the sensation of being truly heard, and give and receive empathy and validation through this activity. To develop and maintain wholesome relationships, couples must master these qualities.

4. The Weekly or Daily Check-In

Life is hectic and filled with diversions all the time. Sometimes all a pair can manage while passing by the same room on their way to somewhere else is a brief, “How was your day?” This might work for a little while, but eventually you’ll start to feel like ships in the night if you don’t arrange time to check in with each other meaningfully.

Setting up regular check-ins or incorporating it into your daily routine is an easy activity, such as taking a walk together every night and checking in. Simply take as much time as you both require to update one another on the true events in both of your lives.

They may perform the listener/speaker exercise in this setting, discuss positive aspects of their lives and their relationships, and then express their gratitude for whatever it is that they have to be thankful for. Even in a busy life where finding time to chat is frequently neglected, this strategy promotes greater connection and communication.

5. The process of 40-20-40

Specific communication exercises for compassionate listening and helpful conflict resolution is the 40-20-40 procedure. The division of attention during the talk is where the name originates. 40% of the dialogue goes to each party’s sentiments, with 20% left over to talk about the relationship.

The aim is for everyone to listen with the intention of understanding rather than defending themselves. Each individual uses their allotted time to speak about their own feelings. In order to avoid coming out as accusing, it is best to only discuss how each person is feeling. The shared objective is to practice hospitality with one another, building over time a solid foundation of constructive dialogues in which conflict is regarded not only as bearable but also as a necessary and valued—if occasionally uncomfortable—part of maturing as a couple and as individuals.

6. The Stress-Reducing Dialogue

It’s a simple trap to get caught in: As soon as your partner mentions their tension, you begin formulating potential remedies. But, there are instances when it’s preferable to simply listen without comment. That’s precisely what the Gottman Institute’s exercise from helps to give. It merely requests that spouses spend 20 minutes each day listening to one another’s worries without providing suggestions.

The listener must be present, ask questions, think on what they hear their partner say, and affirm their feelings in order to demonstrate comprehension. Couples are encouraged to perform this activity every day as a ritual for around 20 minutes at the end of the day.

7. Using the sandwich approach

The goal of those communication exercises are to get you comfortable asking for something while sandwiching it between two affirmative statements. Hence, as opposed to immediately saying, “I need you to do this!” you cushion the blow by highlighting the positive aspects of your connection, making your partner more receptive to whatever it is you have to say.

Saying, “I really appreciate everything you’ve done around the house and all the help you’ve been providing lately,” is one way to approach your partner with a specific request. Then you add the request, “Is there any way you might be able to make sure that you also take care of this, as well?,” to the conversation.

“I know you’re already doing so lot, but this would be so helpful and I appreciate it, as well as you, more than you know,” you say after that to close it out. Your partner will be lot more open to hearing your request because you’ve put it in these terms and explained why you’re asking for it.

Your partner will be less likely to take offense if you do this because your criticism will be sweetened with encouragement. You will be able to speak effectively and maturely as a result. Indulge yourself in those simple but effective communication exercises for couples and improve your couples life.

Inquire Talk certified therapists who you can get in touch and book a therapy session with:

Nicola Keenan

Joanne Welsh

Elaine Tarsh